originally posted on 2006.06.23 at 14:11
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” -1 Corinthians 13:4-8-
Wow! That’s a lot to ask. There is a very dark side of me that looks nothing like this. At certain times, like the last couple if weeks, it pops up from the underworld and I get a real good look at it. It is U.G.L.Y; the opposite of pretty much everything on this love list. Just being honest here. I would die if my thoughts and feelings were broadcast for everyone to hear over the last week. I’m sure I’d lose a few friends, too. Now, I have got a long record of wrongs stored up. Even some that I have put aside, (several times), I find I am clutching once more. I have very good reasons to, by the way. After all, these people have violated the way things should be and gone against the very will of God!!! If only God would gift them with the insight he has bestowed upon me.“Love does not delight in evil…” Hmmm… I guess that means it not OK to feel more than a twinge of jubilance when that person who wounded me and just doesn’t “get it” is now suffering consequences of their [supposed] sin[s]. Maybe now they will see the error of their ways and…feel really guilty!!! Vindictive? A bit.
This description of love is crushing when I feel like this. I know I am commanded to love in this way, but I might as well be reading a bumper sticker on the car in front of me that says “Free Tibet”. Ummm…I CAN’T!
But wait…I think I hear something. It’s… hold on. If I get real quiet I might be able to make it out… Oh! It’s my Savior…
“Turn and look at me. Staring down your sin will do nothing but overwhelm you. Stare at me now. My description of love seems crushing to you? Let it crush you. It will only pulverize the part that does not define you. Yes, it is evil, even worse than you think, but I am not interested in cleaning it up. It is the old you. (Romans 7:2; 2 Corinthians 5:17) It was crucified on the cross with me, remember? (Romans 6:10-11) What you see is merely a ghost and some day it will haunt you no more. Until then remember…this love list is not something for you to struggle to attain or work on mastering; it is first and foremost a description of how I love you. Go over it again dear one; this is my love for you. Soak it up, bask in it. Secondly, this is a description of you right now, because you are mine. I have given you a new heart whose very purpose is to be like mine. (Ephesians 2:10) The very desire you have to love this way is evidence of your new nature. I have loved and will love through you. As you drink your fill of my grace, it will freely overflow onto the ones I have placed around you (1 John 4:19). Do not wait until you are parched. Remember to come often in time set apart and in moments throughout the day, as needed, and drink deeply. Come. Drink up the cross where your sins died with me. Drink up the resurrection where you were reborn in me. Drink up the life of love I lived in perfect righteousness. I have given it to you; it is yours. This is freedom from sin. This is repentance. This is life.”(Romans 13:14, Matthew 3:8)
Now, Him I could stare at forever!
“For every look at your sin, take ten looks at Christ.” –Jack Miller
